Wondering

I was telling a friend how it feels like we have just arrived in Allendale. But he simply said, “No, you’ve been there a while.”

He’s right. We are coming up on two years of being a part of this community. Two years of ministry. Two years of relationships. Two years of changes for our family.

I think it feels like time has passed quickly because of every few months, our family schedule and ministries changed. I’ve switched jobs and schedules (afternoons/evenings to mornings/afternoons to afternoons/evenings to 4 jobs taking up all day to …) numerous times.

But as I reflect on what we’ve done, it makes me wonder what lies ahead.

What We’ve Done

For someone who likes routine, I’ve surprised myself with the variety of opportunities that we’ve been involved with:

I think time has flown by because of how much fun we’ve been having. Of course, of course it hasn’t all been easy, but we’ve enjoyed the new friends and experiences.

Wondering

But we’re now wondering where we go from here. Something feels a little off. Not bad or wrong, just off. We’re wondering if that is God telling us to patiently wait, or if He’s telling us there is another change coming.

We’re wondering what work and ministries God has for us.

We’re wondering how much of an impact we can really have.

We’re wondering how much to focus on having an impact ourselves, and how much we should be focusing on equipping and developing others to have an impact.

We’re wondering if we should set some firm goals, and if so, what should they be.

We’re wondering how to reach families of young children.

We’re wondering how to get a mentoring initiative started.

We’re wondering how many local churches will work for life change through teaching the gospel and building relationships.

We’re wondering how this is affecting our children in the long run.

We’re wondering how this is affecting our marriage in the long run.

We’re wondering how this is affecting our spiritual health in the long run.

We’re wondering how and when God is going to bring Allendale to a better place

We’re wondering if we’re even wondering about the right issues.

Assured

If here is one thing we have learned in almost 2 years, it’s that we don’t really know much at all. But we’re thankful for your support — whether physical or emotional.

We have more questions than answers. But we’re not wondering whether you believe in us, or whether God loves us. We know both of those things.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  — Hebrews 11:1

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**image courtesy of duchesssa via rgbstock.com

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5 responses to “Wondering”

  1. gwendolyn walker says :

    I am really inspired by the work that you y’all are doing here in our commune.ity..After reading.my morning devotions I look for your blogs of inspiration read it and add you to my prayer. Thanks for all you do and bring to Allendale.

    • joeyespinosa says :

      Though we have struggles and challenges, we really are glad to be here. We’re thankful for folks like y’all who have been laboring in love far longer than we’ve been.

  2. Allison Reed says :

    Loved this post. Continuing to pray for you guys.

  3. Katherine Bryan Sobey says :

    You are greatly appreciated! God has given you favor here and you have affected more lives than you realize. Your influence will live on in amazing ways and ripple out far beyond your “wonderings!” We love your family!

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